DEALING WITH SELF CONTROL...

Hi friends!!!  Todays post is going to be a little bit different.  Today I wanted to talk about something that I have been struggling with for a long time and some of you maybe as well.  The topic is....self control.  There are lots of different kinds of self control.  Wether it be with spending your money, the way that you eat or even with your attitude.  I want to share with you some ways that could potentially help with your self control.

I have struggled a lot in the past couple years with my self control.  With every kind of self control.  I was struggling with money, because I was spending...A LOT, with my eating habits, because of my laziness and lastly, my attitude towards life was horrible.  I hated my life.  I hated my job and I just found no positivity anywhere.  It was almost as if I had given up.  I would come home in a horrible mood and bring everyone down around me.  I would constantly cry and was always stressed about every little thing.

There was then a point where my dad had shared a book with me.  It was called, "The Four Agreements."  I am not kidding you, this book changed my life.  I won't go into too much detail with what this book talked about, because I really recommend it to everyone out there.  It talks about 4 main things that you should live by and by doing so, you will live a full and happy life.

1.)  Be impeccable with your word. 
2.)  Don't take anything personally.  (Boy, do I struggle with this one.)
3.)  Don't make assumptions.
4.)  Always do your best.

This book taught me so much and made me realize that if I am not happy, that I should do something about it.  I know that may come across as selfish, but it's true.  If you yourself do not like the way things are working out or do not like what is happening in your life, do something to change that.  I finally put my foot down and told myself that where I was at that point, was not where I was meant to be.  I quit my job, changed my attitude and became a whole new person.  I now am able to say that I love where I am and feel that things are looking up.

Talking about the first topic, spending money, it is so easy to just "put it on the card."  I am a huge sucker for shopping.  All kinds of shopping.  I love to be able to spoil myself and others because I work hard and I deserve it.  But is it really worth it to spend almost your entire paycheck the day you get it?  For a long time now, I have been living paycheck to paycheck which is very difficult and honestly, scary.  I changed my thought process about the whole thing and realized that I don't need all the "little things".  What I am doing now is saving my money for something that will really benefit me in the long haul.  Such as a car, a house, a trip to somewhere nice, the more expensive items that really matter.  I don't need to constantly be buying clothes and makeup and random crap.  My dad has always told me that, "You will not be able to take everything with you to the grave."  And honestly, that has stuck with me ever since the day he told me.  Don't get me wrong...I will definitely buy me a little something nice, but only every now and then.  I have thought about buying myself one nice thing a month.  I think I can handle that.  You also must think about emergency situations.  I have a car, but it's an older car and older cars break easily and often and I use my car almost every day.  I also have two kitties who's lives come before mine.  They are my kids!!!  And lastly, I do not have health insurance at the moment so if anything were to happen to me, I need to be ready to be able to pay for any bills.  I am definitely heading down a good path but still have a long way to go.

The next topic is eating habits.  I had a really tough time with this one about a year ago because where I was working, there was pizza, burgers, mexican, pastries, pretzels and fast food within walking distance and it was all about convenience for me.  It's easy to slip up and hard to come back but I managed.  This is where I tell myself...."It's all about the self control Charlotte."  Your mind is constantly telling you what it wants and what it craves.  I have been working on something for whenever I have an "unhealthy" craving, I figure out how I can change that craving into a healthier alternative.  I LOVE food.  And I love cooking/baking.  I also love getting creative and trying new things.  As I have stated in previous posts, Tyler and I are pretty much HALF vegan.  LOL.  We still eat light colored meats and fish and red meat VERY rarely but we have cut out all dairy.  And let me tell you that by cutting out dairy alone, Tyler and I have probably lost about 45-50 lbs total together (not each).  So as I was saying, if I one day am craving fried chicken and french fries, I think of how I can make my own healthier version of that.  Which will not only save me money but make me feel better too.  I am still satisfying my craving, but in a way that I won't feel guilty or sick after. (:  Try something like breaded and baked chicken with roasted sweet potato strings.  SO GOOD!  Honestly, even better than the original craving.  Another example could be if you're craving chocolate chip cookies...that are loaded with milk chocolate, butter and sugar...try making some vegan dark chocolate chip sea salt cookies with organic sugar, coconut oil and vegan butter.  I mean which one sounds better?!  I have been making vegan treats a lot lately and they, no kidding, taste way better than the non vegan ones and you can eat them guilt free.  Check out some of my previous posts on a few vegan/healthy recipes and look out for more too!  I love posting them to share.  (;

The last topic is about our attitude.  We are only given one life on this Earth, as we know of, so why waste it on stress and anger, etc.?  I know it is hard for some of us to handle these feelings and I still deal with stress and anxiety today but I know how to control it.  You have to try and find the positives in your life even in a negative moment, search for that positive!  This took me so long to figure out and I will be completely honest with you...I still struggle a little bit, but that's ok!!!  NO ONE IS PERFECT.  People feed off of our energy and when I would come home with a bad attitude and stress and anger, Tyler would never want to be around me.  We would fight a lot and would never have any time to spend together but everything changed for the better that day I made a choice.  A choice to live happy and stress free.  You just have to laugh at your failures and say, "oh well" when you don't get what you want because each day is a new beginning and a chance to start over.  You never know what's waiting for you on the other side.

I do apologize for such a long rant, but I am writing this to hopefully help those of you who really need some guidance or advice.  These are just some things that helped me better myself, my relationships and my life.
If you ended up reading all the way to the end, please leave me a comment because that would mean the world to me.  I put a lot of thought into this and it honestly is not easy to talk about and I don't share this with many people.

I love each and every one of you reading this.  (:

Hope you all are having a wonderful weekend and I will talk to you soon. 

XOXO

Comments

  1. Thank you so much for sharing Charlie! I can certainly relate and am grateful to come accross your words of wisdome.

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